I’ve been making images for quite a while now. If you go all the way back to when I bought myself a camera for Christmas it’s near nigh 12 years. (Oh the memories!) And, quite a while longer if you go back to elementary, a disc camera and a best friend to “model”. It nearly always appealed to me. I remember poring over National Geographics as a child, analyzing each shot, wondering how it was made and dreaming about how very glamorous it must be in that space behind a camera. Of course I know now those photographers’ jobs are far from glamorous.
Those who know me know A LOT about me. Heck, those who barely know me know a lot about me. It’s my way: transparency. It gets me in trouble frequently, gets me hurt more often but always feels right at the time. I’m working hard on “appropriateness”.
To the thought at hand… I was pondering the other day how I define myself. One of my photographer friends and I have discussed it a few times. She defines herself as a business woman. It’s a business. It’s what pays the bills. Sure, it’s fun, it’s creative, it’s cool. But she doesn’t define herself with photography or as a photographer. I myself have a hard time separating the two. The lines are blurred, maybe non-existent. I cannot think of a time in recent years I have not either defined myself as such, longed to do so or had photography, the act of imaging, the business of imaging or any other part of the ball of wax at hand on my mind, in my heart or up my sleeve. Now your opinion of my work is wholly another issue. You may think I’m awesome, or a joke, depending on your place in the photography community and your experience. To either I have no care. Ok so maybe I do. But that’s irrelevant.
What I mean is this: in my life when I’ve had nothing else, when I had to look for a reason to get out of bed in the morning, when depression reared it’s ugly head…I still had a fire in my belly and a passion for photography. I know it sounds silly…that this “thing” could mean so much to me. But it’s not a “thing”. It’s PEOPLE. The quote says, “The two most important days in your life are the one you are born and the one in which you find out why”. This is my why.
Way before I discovered what I now know as my mission to change Women’s lives my favorite part of the imaging process was presenting the images. I adore to see the looks on faces, the ooohs and the awwws that ensue when my clients see their images for the first time. It’s my drug. I know at that moment our lives are intertwined. They will always think of me when they see these images in their homes. That makes me feel useful, meaningful & leaves a legacy of myself.
Now, my days are filled with the process of helping women feel beautiful. My past has come full circle now. I love the entire process of Boudoir Imaging, from the first contact to the delivery of the album. The in-betweens of planning, hair & makeup and shooting are just as rewarding. I know I’m making a difference, one woman at a time. And there is really nothing else I’d rather be doing.
Talk again soon-Marsha